Truth, Winning and Lies

Sometimes the truth can be blurry.

One day, I was having a conversation with my mom and we had a disagreement on something, and I kept insisting on being right until it was proven that I was right. And then she said, "OK, OK, you win", or something to that effect. That was not the first time that it struck me that, everyone thought whenever we had a disagreement, it was about me winning; even when I tried to be reasonable, even [especially] when I tried to look at it from many different angles; and when I do this, I'm often labeled as argumentative. I have never thought of simply to win instead of finding the truth. OK, roll your eyes, but it's true. If I'm wrong, prove that to me. I will gladly accept it if it seems logical - with all my own bias and prejudice tendencies.

The Truth and The Chicken

I've always been a proponent of the truth [with the exception of which you'll later find out]. Once, when I was nearing the end of high school, just right before the big exam, at a motivation outing, the facilitator asked us: if you believe in something and new evidence surfaces, do you still hold on to your belief or do you change your mind? I said that of course I would change my mind, and then chickened out and said that of course you’d have to stand firm with what you believe in; which was [I perceived] the 'correct' answer at the time, which I did not and do not believe in.

For wanting to find the truth, I don't understand why it's shameful to be wrong. New evidence come up all the time. I'm wrong all the time; which is sometimes a different matter altogether.

How many times have we told a story and then proven to be flawed; and to save ourselves from embarrassment we add a little here and there, or exaggerate for credibility? I've even done it myself.

I’ve always been a person who doesn't simply believe what things or how things appear to be. Sometimes an interpretation of a series of events is far from the truth.

Can’t Talk About Truth Without Talking About Lies

I can tell a lie but I hate it. I find that one lie often leads to another for cover. I have a story that happened when I was about ten or nine. I don’t know if this is why I hate lying, but it made a mark in me. There was this one time when my relatives came over for a visit and along with them were my cousins. It was, now proven, a once in a lifetime occurrence to have so many of them all at once. And I had to go to school the next day. It was the end of the school term and we wouldn’t have any lessons anymore anyway. So, I faked an illness and told my mom I had a stomach ache [I used to get gastritis in those days], and so didn’t go to school that day. My plan was to rest a bit and then play with my cousins after I felt 'better'. But my mom found out and I was scolded really badly. The good thing was, I got to play with my cousins; but I think something in me changed. I hated that feeling - that feeling of being found out and getting into trouble for it; not to mention disappointing someone.

They say if you can’t trust someone with the small things you can’t trust him/her with the bigger things. Sounds about right but I think nothing more than philosophical. We all lie especially on the smaller things because the bigger things might need careful planning. And some people lie with malice and some not; and some telling half truth or is it half lie? And what about matters intentionally kept unsaid?

Historically, those who win get to tell their own version of truth. But lies hurt people, truth too, but lies hurt even more when you find out... the truth. So what do you do? At least if you tell the truth you have a chance at winning, whereas when you lie you always lose. The realist in me doesn’t truly believe that, because sometimes liars always win - because that’s life.