Sometimes I Write…

As they say, 'Written in mustard'. Or so they haven't.

For some reason some people have the idea that I am talkative, a conversationalist and consequently have a friendly disposition; a friend said, ‘a good PR [public relation]’. Given that this friend, up to that time, was long lost in contact and we just recently renewed our friendship, there is little truth in that. What she doesn’t know is that there’s a great effort behind that PR character. Yes, there is that side of me that is all of the above but on a daily basis, the mundane daily life, when I’m not meeting anyone, I rarely seek company. It takes an even greater effort  when I’m feeling down which is often in the turn of events in recent years, to say the least.

A lot has happened in the past recent years and a few have left a deep mark in my life. I have suffered. I have lived on. I wish I could say that I have braved the storm and become stronger. I have not. But at least I haven’t done anything that I might regret later or hurt my family and make them suffer even more.

Despite everything that I’ve been through, I find it difficult to ‘unload’ my emotions. This is not something new to me, and, yes, I’m a woman. And they say women like to talk about feelings and stuff. Obviously, I’m not that kind. There is danger in this; it’s like nurturing a wound instead of treating it.

I think it’s an open secret that we human beings have the need to express ourselves; images expressed into paintings, artworks; thoughts expressed into words; love into affection and kindness. 

To me this blog is an expression of myself. Even though I can’t put everything here, but here is a snippet of myself. 

Funny thing is, writing doesn’t come naturally to me. All of that you see here are the results of a great effort. I think in abstracts and sometimes it’s difficult to put that in words let alone write. But I find that writing is an effective, if not powerful tool. For example, I find that when I’m angry I can argue more effectively if I put my thoughts in writing. Besides, don’t you find it difficult to think straight when you’re angry? So why not take some time off to cool down and write it down instead of shouting and spewing whatever you can think of at the heat of the moment.

The thoughts in my mind and the thoughts in writing can be quite different; it gives me a different perspective. I have always have thoughts. That by itself doesn’t warrant a blog. But here is a place where I can take that out and put it somewhere.